How to move on to the next module? What topics interest me and what area do I feel will have enough literature in order to shape my research? It's certainly a tough one!
From the group conversation yesterday, it was interesting to learn that others are in a similar position to me in that do they carry on with something they did in their AOL or find a new area. As I touched on very very briefly, I will moving on from my job role as of April and therefore do not feel I can continue with my AOL's due to them all being based on this particular job role and therefore I will not be in this same career position to help base my research and ethics etc. I feel a new area for me based in a dance school I teach just once a week is going to be more of a realistic possibility in terms of time frames, research and gathering evidence. Additionally, I don't think it is specific to just the aol's as it is a learning journey and therefore I would imagine it would be ok to look at a different area, I wonder if there is some way I can link it back to one of my aol's...will think this one through further.
It was interesting to hear some wonderful thoughts off others, it helped me to feel like I was not alone especially in my uncertainties and often the questions that are asked reflect my own areas where I lack understanding and clarity. Although these were not directly answered, I think it still helps to know you are not alone in this process. Besides, our one to one tutorials can help with direct questions and for me, I go away from one to one tutorials with a lot more clarity and understanding. I think for me personally, this way of learning is a lot better and more thorough. I very much wanted to be involved yesterday but didn't feel I had much further to add or contribute, however, I learnt from listening to others and I am a very good listener and this does help me. After inputting just once at the very end, I felt I had perhaps said something wrong as it was then queried whether these groups are helpful as questions are not directly answered. I went away and reflected as I have spent the entire first module reflecting on my practice and used Gibbs Reflective Cycle to help me to understand how I was feeling. I left the conversation as though I had said something wrong, I felt I guess, just strange like somehow I had annoyed others - again I left the last Skype chat feeling the same as a very very similar thing happened. I found the experience as a whole was good as I learnt from others and it was so good to hear so many differences in thoughts and contributions. For me personally, I felt it needs to be a more positive experience for me to continue attending these Skype sessions as the last twice I have left feeling quite down and disappointed and I simply cannot and will not allow myself to feel this way when it is not about that. I am learning more about myself than maybe I realised both from both a teaching and personal point of view. Perhaps I am quite sensitive to people's responses (perhaps raging pregnancy hormones also aren't helping me here!) and that also I feel I need to contribute more. In reflection, this is something that I would do differently next time. I think that maybe because I tend to hurry through what I need to say on the Skype chat to avoid babbling on and taking up too much time, maybe I do not clarify the most important points of what I am trying to say. Perhaps in another conversation, I need to learn to relax and make points of what I want to contribute prior that will enable me to speak directly about what it is I wanted to say...otherwise, I tend to drive myself crazy wondering what did I say? How should I have said this more clearly / concisely? Additionally, in reflection, I think for me to make notes on what I want to contribute and what I learn from others is also valuable. Again this enables me to speak directly about what it is I need to address and clarify etc.
So the start of module two has been a lot more complicating and confusing than I originally anticipated. I did't expect to start reflecting myself from a personal point of view and I am surprised that I am learning through more ways than one, this is not a bad thing, it just wasn't expected. So now I know how better to approach a Skype conversation and also to not take things as personally - however, this process enables me to link this directly back to teaching practice. I will make notes before every lesson, I will deliver the lesson and certainly do not take comments from students personally. I reflect on my practice and move on from the learning experience. I feel this approach works for me in my professional career and therefore can link back nicely to planning, preparing and moving forwards in my personal life. So there we go, I am learning as I am writing!
Onwards and upwards to find a topic suitable for module two...I am interested in two areas mostly, one being dancers of whom have physical and mental disabilities, and then contrastingly would be to look at how progress in dance is measured, i.e; exams, competitions, shows, I just feel this area needs a little bit more meat to it in order to make it into a project. The latter idea allows me to link to my teaching practice that is an ongoing position and therefore a little bit more realistic to time frames, ethics etc.
Off we go taking a huge leap (grand jete for the ballet dancers amongst us) into the unknown that is module two!